Ixiannithialsisa
by Surreal13
Summary: Summary: She's beautiful. She's thin. She's going to change the destinies of the Knights in a way no one has imagined.
1. Prologue

**Title: Ixiannithialsisa  
**

**Author: Surreal44**

**Rating: R to be safe**

**Genre: Mary Sue...I mean, Horror**

**Summary: She's beautiful. She's thin. She's going to change the destinies of the Knights in a way no one has imagined. ****  
**

**Beta Notes: No Beta. I didn't want to cause the delightful Evil Jacquie or ScoutLover to flee in terror.**

**Disclaimer: The original legends are not mine, nor are the ones from Disney's "King Arthur", whom this particular travesty is based on. I beg of all those involved with the movie to not hunt me down and kill me, and my sincerest and deepest apologies to Tristan and Mads.**

**Notes: This fic was born because of some girls I RP'd with did not like how I played Tristan, and suggested that he was a tap-dancing girly-man. So I wrote this as a tribute to them. It will be updated whenever I am motivated to add to the horror. **

**  
Read at your own risk.**

_KAKAKAKAKA_

**Prologue:**

_I have known the Knights. Brave men, all of them. Good men. The type of men that fairy tales are made of...well at least the general idea...they were a bit hairier and deadlier than the magical faery tales...But there was one in particular who was special. Really special. Would you like to know the tale? Then listen, and I will tell you... (( A/N: Ok, guys, like lol!1, I just wanted you to know when you see the italics it means that it's the narrator speaking, 'kay? ))_

Tristan had always been different from the other Knights. It wasn't so much the quietly psychotic way he moved across the battlefield, killing anything that moved that made him different. It wasn't that he could be stealthy as a leopard when he ran through the forest, tracking his unwary prey and then striking with sudden, vicious and deadly in his attack.

No, what made Tristan different from the others was that he alone of the Knights actually understood that black socks with sandals is one of the biggest fashion faux-pas in existence. And no one else seemed to understand that Winter Skin Tones simply could not pull off orange. It had taken him ages to explain that to Galahad. At least the boy had taken him up on the idea of wearing a skirt. Galahad certainly had the legs for it…

_But I digress._ Tristan was not always so free-minded. For years he was held in bondage by those who said that brown was flattering on everyone, and that real men enjoyed being drenched in blood and gore. The constraints of society had forced him to comply, preventing him from self-actualizing and understanding the true joy one can find in wearing nothing but pasties and whipped cream.

It was not until he met _HER _((A/N: Ok, so that was not the narrator, 'kay? )) that he realized how down trodden he really was...not until **Ixiannithialsisa **came into his life did he see what joy truly was...


	2. Chapter One

**Title:** Ixiannithialsisa 

**Author:** ChibbieTirstanandLancelotsGurlLovR4Ever (Surreal's other, evil  
personality)

**Rating:** R to be safe

**Genre:** Mary Sue...I mean, Horror

**Summary:** She's beautiful. She's thin. She's going to change the  
destinies of the Knights in a way no one has imagined.

**Beta Notes:** No Beta. I didn't want to cause the delightful Evil  
Jacquie or ScoutLover to flee in terror. Any mistakes are mine and  
should be scorned appropriately.

**Disclaimer:** The original legends are not mine, nor are the characters  
from Disney's "King Arthur", whom this particular travesty is based on.

I beg of all those involved with the movie to not hunt me down and  
kill me, and my sincerest and deepest apologies to Tristan and Mads.

**Notes:** This fic was born because of some girls I RP'd with did not  
like how I played Tristan, and suggested that he was a tap-dancing  
girly-man. So I wrote this as a tribute to them. It will be updated  
whenever I am motivated to add to the horror.

Read at your own risk.

**Chapter One:**

_ABAB_

_You see, it all began centuries in the future, with a small girl named Ariel Belle. She was a special child. She was graceful and beautiful even at a young age, with a perfect singing voice. She also had the strange ability to communicate with animals and she could see unicorns when no one else could, because she so special. Everywhere she went people loved her. She was particularly close with her parents, and they spent many a fun time together._

_While visiting the mall one fateful day, Ariel stopped to speak with her best friend Flutterby, who was a flying pink unicorn. (( A/N: No one else can see him right? But no one thinks she's crazy because she's so sweet. )) Her parents lost sight of her and became distraught because their lives were empty without their precious child. They were so upset that they flung themselves off the upper walkway, and splattered themselves on the tile mosaic floor at the food court. _

_Ariel Belle was deeply traumatized by this event, as the bodies of her parents landed at her feet. Her parents weren't the only things that she lost that day. Her favorite pair of designer shoes ended up with blood all over them._

Ariel Belle woke with a start from the horrible nightmare. She had been dreaming of the day when her parents had died. "Why Flutterby, why couldn't you have saved them?" she sobbed hopelessly. Her tears were like ice, like how she felt on the inside. "Why didn't _I_ save them?"

She looked at the picture of her parents by her bed and she wept even more bitterly. "And my poor parents. If only I could have saved them too…"

_For since her parents had perished on her sixteenth birthday, Ariel had been forced to live with her greedy uncle Count von Hugo Dracumort (( A/N: He's not a count really; that's his first name lolls!1! )), who abused her terribly. He made her stay in the guest room of his two-bedroom house and he fired her personal maid. He made Ariel work hard and she didn't even get an allowance. As if all that wasn't bad enough, he made her clean up her room, and whatever could not fit in her single closet and her dresser she had to give up to charity._

"Oh woe is me," she wailed into the darkness of the small room. "My life is so hard. I wish I could go back in time, to a happier place." She sobbed quietly, but the tears only made her look more beautiful in the glow of the moonlight that entered her room. "If only I could just leave this place and never come back."

Worn out from her emotional out-burst, and worried that she would wrinkle her face if she cried for too long, Ariel curled up in bed and fell into a restless sleep, where she was haunted by images of her dead parents and her lost shoes.

_ABAB_

The next morning Ariel arose from her bed with a bright smile on her face. It was not in her nature to languish for long in her sorrow. She understood that some people in life had to suffer greatly. If she had to be one of them, then she would bear her burden with dignity and without self-pity.

Though she must walk the lonely halls of her high school where peer pressure existed ( but she was way too strong-willed to ever give into such ideas ) and have people like her only because she was beautiful with perfect skin, a perfectly curved body and large breasts, she would prevail.

Besides, she had decided on a plan on how to flee from her horrible uncle and her dreadfully stifling life. (( A/N: She's smart too, but not like the dorky kind of smart. )) So she went to school and flirted with some boys and she laughed liltingly when a fistfight broke out among them on who would sit beside her at lunch. Oh how her blue-violet eyes with silver streaks danced and sparkled at the antics of her friends. They cheered her up immensely, and after seeing them all to the infirmary, she skipped off to her most difficult class of the day, history. It was so boring. Who cared about stupid dusty old things anyway?

After school was over she was walked home alone, contemplating how well that new conditioner was working in her comely locks. She liked the color of her hair, which was the color of finely spun gold, and was silky soft. Even though her hair was long (down to her shapely waist), it was light as a cloud. Recently she had put in some blue and pink highlights and she was pleased with the contrast. She also liked it because it annoyed her uncle.

Ariel had promised to meet Flutterby in the park, so she went to cross the street, and was nearly run over by a garbage truck. She just barely missed getting flattened by the evil gas-guzzling, non-environmentally safe truck because she noticed that she had dropped her pen with the glittering pink fuzz-ball at the top, and she didn't want to lose it.

Completely oblivious to the fact that she had nearly died, she brushed off the slightly dirty pen with loving hands and assessed the damage with a small frown on her rose-petal colored lips. It didn't look too bad. She walked into the park and started looking for Flutterby. If she hadn't been so distracted, she would have heard the sound of the nylon Frisbee headed her way, but she didn't see it until it was too late. She looked up in time to get nailed between the eyes by a slobbery teal and yellow Frisbee. There was a momentary pain and then she crumpled slowly and gracefully to the ground in a complete swoon.

_ABAB_

**To be continued, unless no one reviews.**


	3. Chapter Two

**Title:** Ixiannithialsisa

**Author:** ChibbieTirstanandLancelotsGurlLovR4Ever (Surreal's other, evil  
personality)

**Rating:** R to be safe

**Genre:** Mary Sue...I mean, Horror

**Summary:** She's beautiful. She's thin. She's going to change the  
destinies of the Knights in a way no one has imagined.

**Beta Notes:** No Beta. I didn't want to cause the delightful Evil  
Jacquie or ScoutLover to flee in terror. Any mistakes are mine and  
should be scorned appropriately.

**Disclaimer:** The original legends are not mine, nor are the characters  
from Disney's "King Arthur", whom this particular travesty is based on.

I beg of all those involved with the movie to not hunt me down and  
kill me, and my sincerest and deepest apologies to Tristan and Mads.

**Notes:** This fic was born because of some girls I RP'd with did not  
like how I played Tristan, and suggested that he was a tap-dancing  
girly-man. So I wrote this as a tribute to them. It will be updated  
whenever I am motivated to add to the horror.

Read at your own risk. 

**Chapter Two:**

_Strange things can happen when you are unconscious, as Ariel is about to find out. For a strange power surrounded the beautiful Ariel and brought her back in time. Why, you may ask? That question will be answered all in good time, my child. Listen now as Ariel meets her first true love._

"Miss, are you all right?" asked a concerned voice.

Ariel blinked her beautiful eyes open and looked around with confusion. "Miss?" the person asked again. An older man was kneeling beside her. For a moment she was afraid, but she saw then that his eyes were kind and concerned, so she relaxed. For now. If he tried anything funny, she would show him what a black belt in ninja and karate could do.

"I'm fine, I think," Ariel responded in her musical voice. "Oh, my head," she whimpered, touching the tender spot where she had been struck by the Frisbee. The older man helped her to her feet and steadied her as she swayed uncertainly.

"That's quite a bump you have there," he said. "My name is Quintus."

"What kind of name is that?" Ariel wondered, and then realized she was at a dock of some sort, and that almost everyone (even the men) were wearing dresses. But they weren't nice dresses. They did almost nothing for the people's figures and the colors were just awful.

Something would have to be done. But later. Her head ached and she needed to figure out where she was. "Where am I?" she asked Quintus. He smiled in understanding.

"You are in ancient Rome," he explained. "But it's present day Rome for us. Actually, this particular place is port and it's in Britain."

"Oh," Ariel said. Then tears welled up in her eyes. "What shall I do? I don't know where to go."

"Go into the city and look for a man by the name of Rubius Marcus Smith. He will help you."

Ariel committed the name to memory and thanked Quintus. As she started to walk away she noticed a strapping young man with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. He was tall, had a strong jaw, a chisled face and was strongly muscled. Obviously, this was to be her first true love. She could feel it in the air. She posed beautifully and waited for him to notice her. Though he was but a lowly worker at the docks, Ariel knew that he was the one for her.

Except that he hadn't noticed her yet. He was busy working. Obviously, he was dedicated to whatever task he had his mind on. Oh yes, he would be perfect. Ariel moistened her pouty lips and waited. At last the magical moment happened. He looked up at her and started to smile. Then he froze, and for some reason a look of terror crossed his face.

"A Sue!" he yelled in panic, his blue eyes filled with horror. (( A/N: I don't know what a Sue is, but I've heard that they're bad, so I'm putting one in my story. Lolz!)) Ariel didn't know what a Sue was, but she could tell it was someone she didn't want to meet. She hurried after her love, who let out a sound that suspiciously close to a shriek and fled. Ariel followed closely, determined to protect him from the Sue.

Unfortunately, the young man ran into the path of a wagon that was not obeying the speed limits within the docking area, and he was trampled by the cruelly sharp hooves of the horses, run over by the wagon, and by an empty crate.

"Nooooooooooooo!" Ariel screamed in anguish. She knelt beside her fallen love, and lifted his head so she could clutch it to her busty bosom. "I didn't save you! Just like I didn't save my shoes…and my parents," she added hastily, having nearly forgotten that little detail in her sorrow.

"I will never love again," she added bitterly. "Never!" She pressed sweet kisses to the brow of her dead love, then let his head drop to the ground with a thunk. "I will never get close to anyone again."

Ariel stood then, her beauty only magnified by this most recent tragedy in her short life. Regally she walked toward the city, and no one stopped this woman with the form-fitting clothes and the strange hair and eyes. Such things were apparently quite common in the south of Britain. Ariel bumped into a woman with a wart on her face and one of the workers noticed.

"Witch," he screamed! Immediately a riot broke out and the hapless wart-faced woman was carried off to be burned at the stake. Ariel was unaware of these events, and instead continued on her way. She needed to find this Mr. Smith and speak with him.

_After Ariel left, a most surprising thing happened…_

"Is she gone?" asked the young man whom Ariel had declared as being her one true love.

"Yeah, she's gone," one of his friends replied. The young man sat up slowly and winced. Somehow he had escaped the horses, the wagon, the crate, and being clutched by a Sue with merely a few scratches and bruises.

"Thank God," he said with feeling, and went back over to begin working again.

_And so ends the tale of Ariel and her Lost Love._

**TBC or I won't write anymore. Oh, and I was thinking that maybe I will change her eye color from blue-violet with silver streaks to green with gold streaks. What do you guys think? Let me know!**


	4. Chapter Three

**Title:** Ixiannithialsisa

**Author:** ChibbieTirstanandLancelotsGurlLovR4Ever (Surreal's other, evil  
personality)

**Rating:** R to be safe

**Genre:** Mary Sue...I mean, Horror

**Summary:** She's beautiful. She's thin. She's going to change the  
destinies of the Knights in a way no one has imagined.

**Beta Notes:** No Beta. I didn't want to cause the delightful Evil  
Jacquie or ScoutLover to flee in terror. Any mistakes are mine and  
should be scorned appropriately.

**Disclaimer:** The original legends are not mine, nor are the characters  
from Disney's "King Arthur", whom this particular travesty is based on.

I beg of all those involved with the movie to not hunt me down and  
kill me, and my sincerest and deepest apologies to Tristan and Mads.

**Notes:** This fic was born because of some girls I RP'd with did not  
like how I played Tristan, and suggested that he was a tap-dancing  
girly-man. So I wrote this as a tribute to them. It will be updated  
whenever I am motivated to add to the horror.

Read at your own risk.

**Chapter Three:**

_A-B-A-B_

_Let us turn our attention to the Very First Quest of Ariel Belle. When I last spoke to you, my child, Ariel had awoken from her swoon to find herself in a dock. A man named Quintus had told her to find a Mr. Smith in the town, and so Ariel, still mourning her lost love, went searching for this mysterious person. Not without a few complications, of course…_

Ariel walked through the city and took in her surroundings. It took her exactly three seconds to decide that she hated it, and she didn't understand why anyone would want to live in ancient times. It seemed so dirty and well…smelly. Ariel wrinkled her delicate nose in disgust.

She had nearly trod into a pile of manure. "That is so disgusting," she groused to herself. "Don't these people have sanitation workers?" She carefully stepped around the manure, only to step into a suspicious looking puddle of water. Luckily Ariel had chosen to wear her sneakers this day, so none of the water splashed onto her shoes, but it was still distressing that the nasty liquid had touched her expensive shoes.

Ariel hopped out of the water and shook one foot and then the other to get any excess drops off before she continued to walk the crowded streets of the city. A crowd of raggedly dressed children ran around her and she shrieked as the little monsters nearly knocked her off her feet. It wasn't that she didn't like children; it was just that she liked them clean and quiet.

When the children had finally vanished from sight Ariel tried once more to figure out where she was. The roads were poorly marked and she couldn't read them anyway, as she didn't read Roman. She was about to give up and go back to the docks to yell at Quintus and his lousy instructions when she saw the man in the suit and sunglasses. He appeared to be looking at her before moving off into the shadows of an alley.

"Hey!" Ariel shouted, and ran after the normally dressed man. She turned the corner of the alley and paused to allow her beautiful teal eyes (( A/N: I changed her eye color to see if I like it. )) to adjust to the darkness of the alley. The man was waiting for her. He motioned for her to follow him, and then he ran off again. Ariel had to work hard to keep up with him, but she was a cross-country champion at her school so she managed.

Finally the man led her to a much nicer area of the town, and ran into a villa. Ariel paused briefly to catch her breath, and she noticed with a bit of surprise that the men working in the garden were also dressed in suits and sunglasses…and they all bore an eerily similar appearance to each other.

"That's kind of weird," Ariel said to herself. But then again, no one else on the street seemed in the least bit bothered by the men so she shrugged her slender shoulders and walked up to the door of the villa. She knocked, and another man wearing a suit answered the door.

"Welcome," he said to her. He didn't sound very welcoming. In fact, the man was a bit creepy. Ariel flashed her brilliant smile at him and he sighed heavily. He hated this job. He hated meeting young ladies with flashing white teeth, and he hoped this one would last longer than the others. "My name is Smith. I am here to serve you." He sounded more like he'd rather stab himself in the heart than serve her, but Ariel pretended that he was a nice person.

"Oh, you're the one I'm looking for," Ariel said. She frowned when the man shook his head and said, "Follow me. I will take you to the one you must speak with." He led her to a room with frescos of ugly people eating at a party, and left her there. He bowed somewhat stiffly to her and walked out of the room, muttering that Mr. Smith would be with her shortly.

Ariel shivered as she looked at the frescos. She couldn't remember ever being around so many ugly people all at once, even if they were just paintings. The way they were gorging themselves on food was disgusting, and eww, was one of them puking into a basket…?

"I see that you are enjoying my artwork," said a monotone voice. He sounded similar to the servant and she looked up, about to give Creepy Man a piece of her mind, but she stopped. There was a man standing in front of her with long dark hair. His ears were delicately pointed and he was gorgeously arrayed in a lavender silk robe with dark blue threading and silver embroidery. He was also wearing sunglasses. "I am Rubius Marcus Smith. I prefer to go by Agent Elrond though, if you do not mind. I have been expecting you, Ariel Belle." ((A/N: I bet you'll never guess who I combined together to make this character? squeals ))

_A-B-A-B_

Although Ariel had been put off slightly by the horrid artwork of ugly people and the flashy robe, she soon discovered that Agent Elrond was a very smart man. For one thing, he seemed to know much about what had happened to her, and he led her on a walk through his beautiful garden as they spoke.

"The hour grows late and the time is short. You must take the One Ring," he said, then he paused briefly. "My apologies. Wrong quest. Ariel Belle," he said in his monotone voice, his eyebrows waggling wildly behind the sunglasses. "You must find a Roman and marry him. This is part of your doom—I mean destiny."

"But Agent Elrond," Ariel protested, her beautiful voice rippling with sorrow. "I can never marry anyone…I have lost my one true love and I have vowed to never love again!" The last was wailed dramatically and she threw herself on Agent Elrond and wept bitterly. Agent Elrond grimaced, his eyebrows raising up so that they seemed to nearly fly off his head as he gently disengaged the sobbing girl from him.

"But you must marry a Roman," he explained patiently. "Or at least find one to become engaged to. All will be revealed in time to you."

Ariel finally stopped weeping and brightened up. "Well, if I must suffer through a loveless marriage, then that is the way it must be," she said with a brave face. Agent Elrond invited her to stay for dinner, and she agreed. She was thin but she could eat anything she wanted and never gain any weight, so Ariel was not worried about losing her stick-thin yet well-muscled figure.

"Excellent," Agent Elrond stated in a voice that sounded more like it was ready to proclaim that the world was going to end in five seconds, "You go refresh yourself. You will find some proper attire in your room and then we will call you for dinner."

_And so Ariel had finished the first part of her first quest, which was to find Mr. Smith. So Ariel went to bathe her body, for she felt icky after walking around in an Ancient Roman port town, and she dressed herself in her new outfit, which fit her shapely body perfectly. I will continue this tale tomorrow, my child, and explain in excruciating detail what outfit our young adventurer was given, and of the many troubling things she discovered at dinner._

**---TBC**

**Ok, so I've decided that Ariel's eyes are going to change with her mood and stuff, 'kay? Great!**


	5. Chapter Four

**Title:** Ixiannithialsisa

**Author:** ChibbieTirstanandLancelotsGurlLovR4Ever (Surreal's evil alter-ego)

**Rating:** R to be safe

**Genre:** Mary Sue...I mean, Horror

**Summary:** She's beautiful. She's thin. She's going to change the destinies of the Knights in a way no one has imagined.

**Beta Notes:** No Beta. I didn't want to cause the delightful Evil Jacquie or ScoutLover to flee in terror.

Any and all mistakes are my own and should be flamed appropriately

**Disclaimer:** The original legends are not mine, nor are the ones from Disney's "King Arthur", whom this particular travesty is based on.

I beg of all those involved with the movie to not hunt me down and kill me, and my sincerest and deepest apologies to Tristan and Mads.

**Notes:** This fic was born because of some girls I RP'd with did not like how I played Tristan, and suggested that he was a tap-dancing girly-man who likes to wear dresses and glittery eyeshadow. So I wrote this as a tribute to them. It will be updated whenever I am motivated to add to the horror.

**_ABAB_**

_Welcome again, my child. Shall we continue the tale of Ariel Belle? When last we looked in on our brave she had refreshed herself with a long luxurious bath and had donned her new gown…_

Ariel Belle surveyed herself in the mirror with glee. The dress that Agent Elrond had given her was truly one of the most elegant things she had ever seen. The entire gown was made from sky-blue peau de soie satin and the skirt was floor-length with a delightful fishtail train gorgeously embossed with iridescent glass beads, blue sequins and dark blue thread in a vine pattern for a dramatic flare. A tightly fitted corset top that tied up the front wrapped lovingly around her well-endowed bosom and the simple skirt were also embossed with the vine detailing.

The golden hair had been left to hang down her back in soft waves(( A/N: I decided to just make it all golden, ok? )) and it gleamed with the healthy glow of well-conditioned hair. Two cunningly wrought combs that matched the vine pattern in her dress held back the cascade of hair from falling into her eyes although a few stray strands of hair framed her heart-shaped face.

Truly the most enjoyable moment of dressing in such a beautiful garment came when Ariel opened the shoe box and found a pair of dainty silver sling-back thong sandals, delicately embossed with blue and white jewels. A comfortable kitten heel and adjustable strap added style and comfort to the wonderful shoes, and Ariel eagerly slipped them on her shapely feet.

Just as she had finished dressing, there came a knock from without, and she bounded to the gold-embossed door and threw it open. A man stood outside her room, looking a bit reluctant to be there. Of course, that all changed when he saw the ethereal creature standing before him, and he gaped at Ariel as if he had never seen a woman before.

"Can I help you?" Ariel inquired politely, and the man closed his mouth quickly and sketched her a polite bow.

"My name is Boromire from Gondor," (( A/N: I don't know how to spell his name!)) he said to her. "Agent Elrond asked me to escort you to dinner. We did not wish you to get lost in the halls of the Last Homely Villa, after all."

"Oh," Ariel said, her lashes fluttering. For though she had vowed to never love again, the man standing before her was rather handsome in appearance (( A/N: That's for you, Lessy and GT! )) and he had a regal bearing about him that pleased Ariel.

So she did what any self-respecting woman would do, bat her eyes and laugh coquettishly at Boromire. The man never had a chance. He had spent many months in the Last Homely Villa and not one woman resided at the lovely home. Pair that with the sheer glorious beauty that was before him, it was no wonder that Boromire was instantly smitten, and he chatted with Ariel easily as he led her to the dining room.

Agent Elrond was waiting to greet them at the door. He coughed pointedly at Boromire, and gently extracted Ariel from the man's grasp. "I think that you have an odd attraction to things that are gold," Agent Elrond stated, raising a brow so high at Boromire that it seemed ready to take flight from his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Boromire responded crossly, and entered the room ahead of the half-Elf and Ariel Belle. As he seated himself his eyes were drawn to a young man with curly brown hair and large, solemn blue eyes. Ariel frowned and wondered if perhaps her second love was maybe more interested in men than in women, when she noticed that Boromire's eyes were actually drawn to the small tacky gold ring the freaky-eyed boy was wearing on a chain around his neck.

Agent Elrond walked Ariel to the head of the table and seated her at his right hand before he seated himself. Though the table was large, there were very few people at it, and Ariel wondered where all the other guests could possibly be.

"Everyone, this is Ariel Belle. She is our guest for the moment, so please treat her accordingly," Agent Elrond announced. After he had seated himself, everyone followed suit and soon they were all engaged in conversing with Ariel, or simply staring at her with mouths slightly agape. And who could blame them? She was quite simply the loveliest woman any of them had ever seen. Not even Elrond's daughter Airhead…I mean Arwen (( A/N: I hate her!)) could compare.

This was in fact, the subject of tonight's dinner. When he was sure everyone was finished with their food, Agent Elrond stood and spoke once more. "As you know, my daughter Arwen ran off with an orc and I haven't seen her since. I don't have any other children, so I have decided to adopt Ariel and make her heir of all that I own," He turned and smiled fondly at the young lady seated next to him. "That is, if she'll have me as a father."

Of course, everyone was stunned by this announcement, but none more so than Ariel. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she stood to hug Agent Elrond. "Oh," she said in a quavering voice, so filled with emotion that none of the men in the room could prevent their own eyes from watering. "Oh, thank you, Agent Elrond!"

Then the new family embraced one another, and to a sincere round of applause, Agent Elrond held the hand of Ariel aloft in his own and proclaimed, "Behold my new daughter!" Everyone cheered, and then they stood to go to the Fire Room for entertainment.

Agent Elrond and Ariel hung back from the others so that they could talk together, but they acknowledged the many congratulations from the others with polite smiles and heartfelt thanks. "Ariel, my daughter," he said to her quietly as the others went ahead of them. "I must speak to you about the tasks that lay before you. There are difficulties ahead that I wish I could protect you from – Boromire, what are you going to do to Frodo?" he demanded of the man.

Boromire was stalking stealthily behind Frodo, and he put his hands up to his lips to indicate that he wanted them to be silent, and he snuck up behind the young hobit and said in a deep voice, "I have come for the Ring, Frodo!"

Frodo shrieked like the little girl he appeared to be and jumped nearly a foot in the air before he turned to glare at Boromire. "I hate it when you do that, Boromire," he said angrily. Although she found it funny, her compassionate heart couldn't bear to see the shame and embarrassment of the poor hobbit so she went over to Frodo and knelt beside him, (never fearing for the cleanliness of her dress, for the Last Homely Villa was the cleanest spot in the ancient world) and she hugged him gently.

"Boromire is just jesting," she said to comfort him. "Come with me and maybe we can sing a song together. How would you like that?"

Frodo perked up immediately, and allowed Ariel to take his hand and lead him away, although he did turn once to stick his tongue out at Boromire. Boromire was smote by the nasty emotion of Jealousy, and he fairly stomped his foot as the two walked off. "Not fair," he complained to Agent Elrond. "I saw her first."

Agent Elrond gave him a consoling pat on the arm. "It is not your destiny to be with her," he said councilled gently. "Her destiny is far greater than any of us can imagine right now. But if it makes you feel any better, I can hook you up with Erestor."

Boromire frowned. "Erestor is a boy!

Agent Elrond looked starteled. "Really? I never noticed. Sometimes it's hard to tell…"

As they entered the Fire Room, they were greeted by the sight of Ariel sitting on a soft cushion on the floor, with Frodo beside her, playing some weird hobbit instrument. "This is a great love song from my time," Ariel explained to everyone. "I'll start, and Frodo, you try to pick out the melody." Frodo nodded in concentration and waited for Ariel to begin singing in her beautiful voice. Shyly at first (for she wasn't at all certain about her voice), and then slowly gaining in confidence she sang out:

_I said give me two pair  
cause I need two pair  
So I can get to stompin in my air force ones  
stompin in my air force ones_

_I like the all white high top strap with the gum bottom  
theres somthin bout dem that's dirty why I got em  
I leave um strapped and laced and come up out um  
the last person who touched 'em I benn shot 'em,_

_Now if you looked, and seen lime green forces and kiwi  
you couldn't get this color if you had a personal genie  
you now I keep it hip-hop…._

Everyone sat as if in a trance to the haunting lyrics of the song, and it spoke to them of the deep bond each one of them could share with their shoes, if only they would think of them as something more than a form of protection for the feet. Finally Ariel finished her song and after the last strain of music had faded into the night, the whole room burst into applause. Agent Elrond smiled to himself as he watched his daughter, and for just a moment all seemed right with the world.

_And so Ariel spent her first night at the Last Homely Villa. If you wish to know the full extent of the song (which is by Nelly, titled "Air Force Ones") you can google the title and it should come up. It had been a fun evening, but little did our heroine know what was going to happen in the next few days…_

**---tbc**

** Did you see I changed her eye color to match her dress! Review or I won't write anymore!  
**


	6. Chapter Five

**Title:** Ixiannithialsisa

**Author:** ChibbieTirstanandLancelotsGurlLovR4Ever (Surreal's evil alter-ego)

**Rating:** R to be safe

**Genre:** Mary Sue...I mean, Horror

**Summary:** She's beautiful. She's thin. She's going to change the destinies of the Knights in a way no one has imagined.

**Beta Notes:** No Beta. I didn't want to cause the delightful Evil Jacquie or ScoutLover to flee in terror.

Any and all mistakes are my own and should be flamed appropriately

**Disclaimer:** The original legends are not mine, nor are the ones from Disney's "King Arthur", whom this particular travesty is based on.

I beg of all those involved with the movie to not hunt me down and kill me, and my sincerest and deepest apologies to Tristan and Mads.

**Notes:** This fic was born because of some girls I RP'd with did not like how I played Tristan, and suggested that he was a tap-dancing girly-man who likes to wear dresses and glittery eyeshadow. So I wrote this as a tribute to them. It will be updated whenever I am motivated to add to the horror.

_**ABAB**_

The enemy had her surrounded. Ariel arched a perfectly shaped brow and her full lips quirked up in a playful smile. Yes, she was surrounded, but Ariel was not afraid. She had been training with Elrond for two days now and she had received his highest praise. So when one of the enemies leapt at her, Ariel simply dove to the left, rolled and came up shooting her Desert Eagle .44 Magnum, blowing the robot to bits of shredded metal.

As she gained her feet Ariel pulled a second Desert Eagle .44 Magnum from her hip holster and she fired two handed at the approaching robots. Sparks and bolts and other robot components flew through the air. All the while Ariel kept backing up until her back hit the wall. Although she had taken out many robots, there were still five of them surrounding her, and her guns were now empty. So she dropped them and withdrew her Moon Blade Fairy Forged Katana and slashed a graceful arc through the air, her sharp blade slicing through the robots easily.

The robot bits vanished suddenly. Ariel was still examining her equipment carefully for damage when the exotic Amazon rainforest background shimmered and vanished, replaced instead by the gleaming white walls of Agent Elrond's Danger Room.

"Well done," Agent Elrond intoned. "If you had been by my side I would never have lost to that Neil." (( A/N: I LOVED Matrix!! Neil is soooooo cute!!!)) The elf's eyebrows seemed especially waggly today, and Ariel asked anxiously, "Is something wrong, father?"

"No…but we must talk about your destiny," Elrond said as they walked out the doors of the Danger Room and began walking through the hallways of the Last Homely Villa. "Trouble is heading right towards us, and though I want to protect you," here the ageless Elf paused and turned to look at Ariel with tears shimmering in his blue eyes. "Ariel, you will be right in the middle of all of it. Promise me that you'll stay safe!" Despite his desperate attempt to stay calm, his voice wobbled dangerously close to a wail.

Ariel's eyes widened with wonder at Elrond's words. "Oh, father," she said, and she patted his arm comfortingly. "I promise I'll be safe. But…what is this destiny you keep speaking of? All I've ever wanted was to be the most popular girl at school and to be the prom queen…I don't know if I can handle this."

Agent Elrond smiled mysteriously. "Well, I can tell you from experience that you are twenty times better than Buffy ever was…if she could fulfill her destiny, you shouldn't have a problem. Come, we will talk more of this destiny later. We can wait another few weeks before we have to really worry about it."

Then Agent Elrond smiled. "I have a surprise for you. Come with me." Mystified by her father's sudden smile, Ariel followed him, and wondered what he had in store for her now.

ABABAB

Daddy-kins – that is, Agent Elrond – led Ariel Belle down the corridors of the Last Homely Villa until they reached a room filled with many bolts of fabrics. There were many colors and textures to choose from, and Ariel gasped in delight at her new surroundings. On the far wall of the room, many shelves were lined with baskets filled with gems of every shape and size.

"I know you like your room, but I thought that perhaps you could choose how you wish to decorate it," Agent Elrond said with a small smile. Then he added softly, "You also need to take the next step in choosing proper attire to fit in with the rest of society. I know you are interested in designing clothes, so come up with a few sketches and we'll create your new wardrobe."

"Oh thank you!" Ariel cried, throwing her arms around Elrond. He smiled and hugged her back. It was nice, after his wife had been eaten by orcs and his stupid daughter and sons had chosen to become humans that he finally had someone who loved him.

"Have fun, my dear. I'll see you in a while. Also, if you see Boromire, tell him I'm looking for him. He's been stealing anything little and gold he comes across and calling it his 'precioouuuusssssss'. I think he needs some counseling."

"Oh dear. Poor papa." Ariel's tinkling laugh filled the air. "If I see him I'll send him your way. Don't get too dusty in your study." A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. A handsome man with dark hair and blue eyes was standing in the doorway. He looked tired, and it was obvious by the dirt-covered clothes that he had just finished a long journey. Ariel, despite her vow to never love again, perked up a little at the sight of the man, who glanced at her nervously before looking at Elrond.

"Ah, Aragorn," (( A/N: Aragorn is soooooo hot!!11!) Elrond said. "You have finally returned to me. We must seek counsel together immediately. Meet me in my study. We have much to talk about. Ariel, I will see you shortly."

Agent Elrond's eyebrows were drawn together, which meant he was particularly concerned about something. Ariel wanted to stay with the pretty man, but she sternly reminded herself that she could not love again, and instead she went to picking out anything and everything that she could find in pink for her new room.

Remember me? I'm the narrator. Story exposition time! Aragorn was Elrond's mysterious adopted son. He had just returned from the wilderness, where he had been secret masculine rituals (not bathing for weeks at a time and smoking 'weed'), and also, he had been tracking the well-known Arthur and his Knights, as Elrond had instructed.

ABAB

When Elrond entered his study, Aragorn had already poured them some muirvor, a special elf drink that made you drunk really fast. Aragorn handed the glass to his father and waited for the older man to be seated before he finally sat down himself.

"So you have returned," Elrond intoned. "What news have you brought for me?"

Aragorn shifted on the chair, uncomfortable with the direction of the topic. It seemed very strange to him, but he was fairly sure that until two weeks ago, he had never heard of this 'Arthur', nor of a place called 'Britain', but it all seemed hazy and if he tried to focus his thoughts too long on it, his memories faded.

"I found the one you were seeking. Arthur is a Roman commander, and is well liked by his men, who are not native to this land. They are only a four day journey from here…I did not contact them as you requested. But I am curious to know why they are so interesting to you, father. Are they our enemies?"

Agent Elrond had watched Aragorn closely, and he frowned at the signs of exhaustion on his son's face. He would mix up a brew for this Man he had adopted and send him off to bed in a short while. "No, they are not our enemies. They are important to the future of our world, though. Did you…happen to notice anything unusual when you watched them?" Elrond asked casually.

Aragorn shook his head. "I don't think so…but I don't know enough about them to know –"

"You didn't see any…strange colors in their clothes? Lavenders, pinks…no tulle or brocade?" Elrond pressed. It was important to know, but he didn't want to tip Aragorn off to anything quite yet. Dealing with this child had always been difficult, because of his strong-will and his own special destiny.

Obviously puzzled but not alarmed, thanks to the soothing effects of the muivor, Aragorn again shook his head. "No, nothing of the sort. Father, what is going on?"

"All will be shared in good time, my son," Elrond intoned once more. "All in good time. Come, you must rest, so that you may join us for dinner. As you see, we have a new guest, and boy, do we have a surprise for you!"

So saying, Elrond led his son to his son's room so that he could get some well-deserved sleep.

What will Aragorn's reaction be to his new sister? And why is Agent Elrond being so mysterious? Those questions, my child, will be in the next chapter of Ariel's Tale.

**Tbc **

**Unless no one gives me any reviews and then I'll never write any more!!!!!11!**


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